Strange Days

But then they are all strange these days. Just had a big mouthful of very comfortable but still disturbing work done at Sunset Dental. I suppose the phenomenon of giving more attention to pains and fears past is one of the hallmarks of trauma, and that was definitely the case for me just now. But I already knew I was working my way through a great deal of trauma.

Sitting in the Creekside coffee shop around the corner from the dentist's, cautiously sipping mildly warm mocha through a straw, my clever upper lip compensating for the lack of active support from my squashy lower lip. waiting for Kathe to give my doped-up self a ride home.

Still thinking about the trauma aspect of dentistry. I can tell that a lot of the anxiety and trepidation I feel as dental work approaches is compounded of long-ago dental work, as well as other medical procedures, my fear of being out of control while someone else decides what to do with my body, my shame and fear at the condition of my body, and so forth. Lots of issues.

It helps that I am better now at recognizing all of these things, and recognizing them as separate things tht I can deal with individually. That does help, some.

I look forward to my wife's arrival and a safe ride home, but I also relish this private time, this isloation here at a coffee shop where I not only don't have anything I should rush off and do, but am under doctor's orders not to try to walk home, much less drive, on my own. It's kind of cozy sitting here like this in this peculiar state of isolation, not unlike the way I feel when I am up in my imaginary lookout tower.

I should spend more time up there.

//The Magic Eight-Ball says, "Don't forget, the rent is due on that thing."\\